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- Helping Kids Manage Back-to-School Emotions
- Scriptures for Anxiety

January 31, 2021

Camellias

How to Grow an Easy Cutting Garden-Part 1

August 23, 2020

How to Grow an Easy Cutting Garden-Part 1

July 21, 2020

Gardening

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In faith circles, so many of us have received inco

In faith circles, so many of us have received incorrect and harmful messages about mental health. Perhaps we learned we wouldn’t be anxious or depressed if we could just “pray more” and “have faith”. That struggling with anxiety, depression, or other issues means our faith is weak.

These things aren’t even remotely true. A good way to think about mental health issues and faith is by comparing them to physical illness. There are many things we can do to try and prevent illness and we’re wise to do them. But sometimes we still get sick, despite our best efforts. Sometimes the illness can be improved by our choices. Sometimes the illness is brief—other times it will be with us always. But we all know that sickness just happens.

Our mental health is the same way. Our efforts to stay mentally and spiritually healthy matter tremendously. Our prayers DO matter. But because we’re humans, we will always have ups and downs. Most of us will experience a season of anxiety or depression in our lifetime. Many of us will experience this multiple times and some of us will always need to put in work and use resources to manage it.

Whether it be a cold or cancer, we would never suggest a sick person “pray more” and “have faith” and not utilize any helping resources. We would want those things for them—and we’d also want them to seek the wisdom of doctors and pursue every means of physical healing possible. We would celebrate those things, count them as gifts from God, and call them answers to pray.

In the same way there are wise therapists, psychologists, psychiatric nurse practitioners, and psychiatrists who are highly skilled and WANT to help you with your mental issues. These resources are also gifts and can be answers to prayer.

Perhaps it could even be true that one day you might see your anxiety, depression, or other struggle as a kind of gift. One you’d never ask for, but one you know has strenthenged your faith and given you confidence in the goodness and faithfulness of God❤️ “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

The last of the summer garden. It wasn’t my very

The last of the summer garden. It wasn’t my very best gardening season, but I’ve loved these zinnia colors so much🌸

Gardening is a thing I do for myself, for no reason besides I love it. It isn’t a business. I don’t earn money from it. I don’t grow all our food. It cannot go on a resume. It isn’t “productive”.

In a world that wants to do everything fast, gardening is slow. There’s a lot of trial and error and no real guarantee for success. There’s no real definition for success. You learn, you try, you water, you wait. With a little practice, something will usually grow. Then you get to remember all over again the way God can take the tiniest seed of faith and turn it into something amazing.

What a gift it is, the way God lets us play a part in growing things he could have just created himself like magic. Because every gardener knows the real gift isn’t the plant itself—it’s in the growing.

I hope you’ll remember to do the things you love just because you love them. It’s really the best reason of all.

Thirteen years ago I was in a really difficult pla

Thirteen years ago I was in a really difficult place with fear, anxiety, and obsessive thoughts. I started counseling with a wonderful licensed Christian therapist and that helped tremendously—it remains one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever been given.

A year or so later I joined a scripture memory group with some friends. Things still felt tough at times, so I decided to focus all my scriptures on fear, anxiety, and peace. It didn’t happen overnight and it wasn’t like magic, but slowly these verses I memorized wrote themselves on my heart and impacted me so profoundly. And they continue to impact me today!

I decided I’d pick one to read over the week here on Sunday nights from time to time. The first verse I learned was 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgement.”

I started turning these verses into prayers and found them so much more powerful than my own words when I was deeply fearful. For this one I like to pray:

-that God will give me confidence this fear is not from Him
-that the Holy Spirit will give me power over my thoughts so I can focus on things that are good and true
-for love for God and love for myself. I used to be really hard on myself in times of anxiety
-for sound judgement—to know what’s real, to know what’s not, and to be able claim what’s good and true

I hope you have a great week❤️

***This post isn’t to tell you what’s right or

***This post isn’t to tell you what’s right or wrong. It’s to remind you that you get to choose what’s best for your family — and it doesn’t have to look just like everyone else ❤️

In all my years of work as a therapist, the number one controllable contributor to anxiety, emotional outbursts, and exhaustion in children has been over scheduling. So often kids bounce from once activity to the next after school without any time to rest, play, sit quietly, or just think. They get home late, rush to finish homework and eat a quick dinner, then go to bed late. They wake up tired and emotional and it’s easy for a negative cycle to begin.

Consistent over scheduling very often increases already existing anxiety, emotional outbursts, behavior problems, and can cause these issues to pop up where they didn’t exist in the first place.

I do love extracurricular activities and think they have significant value. My own child attends a traditional public school (as a first choice) and participates in after school activities. So what’s the right balance?

That’s entirely up to you as a parent! You know your family best and you get to seek wisdom and choose. A few things to consider as you’re choosing activities for your child (and yourself) this fall:

-What matters to us as a family? Are we getting quality time together? How often do we eat dinner together?

-What is my own physical, mental, emotional, and financial capacity?

-What is my child’s capacity? How much sleep do they need and are they getting it? How tired are they after school and homework?

-Does my child have plenty of unstructured play time?

-What does my child love? Do they love their activities or is getting there a fight?

-What does my child need? Do they need to burn off energy? Or do they need quiet time to recharge?

-Will my child benefit from being part of a team or group? Or would an individual activity be better?

Remember, God chose you to parent your child. Pray for wisdom, choose what you love, and have a great time doing activities or not this Fall. If it isn’t working, making some changes. You’re doing a great job and you’ve got this! ❤️

***What is an “outburst”? Most often we might

***What is an “outburst”? Most often we might think of an anger outburst, but for the sake of this post we will include any Big Emotions brought on by anger, frustration, fear, anxiety, or any other great big feeling :)

1. More than anything else, your child needs you to remain calm. Even if it means stepping away for a moment. Adding our own big emotions add extra stress to an already difficult situation.

Remaining calm is more important than immediately knowing the “right” thing to do. Often there is no “right” way to manage an outburst—there may be several right ways. When we feel like there’s a mystery action we should be taking, it can lead to a feeling of panic and make us even more upset.

2. Together with your child, create a “Calm Space” in your home. It can have different sensory materials that help your child feel calm—stuffies, soft blankets, art supplies, music, anything that helps your child calm down. Have a plan for them to head to this space when upset.

3. Add water. Drink a cold glass of water together and thinking about “cooling down” on the inside. Let them rest or play in the bath. Water makes a lot of things feel better.

4. Have fewer rules, give less directions. Pick the things that REALLY matter and stand firm on them every single time. Make those standards clear. Think about what things you might ease up on and let those things go! You not giving constant directions can help cut down on frustration for your child AND you.

5. Remember you’re the best parent for your child. You know them best. Hard seasons come for every parent and emotional outbursts from our kids are going to happen from time to time. God chose you to help your child learn and you’re doing great!

What if the outbursts are constant? What if they interfere with every day life? What if you aren’t home and can’t send your child to a calm down space? This topic, like every mental health topic, is so nuanced that a post like this could never cover every scenario. This post is meant to offer general information that can be helpful to everyone AND to remind you to seek guidance from a licensed therapist if outbursts are impacting your family regularly❤️

What a gift it is to have friends who have known m

What a gift it is to have friends who have known me like this for so many years! Paige and Claire are two of my very best friends from high school and I’m so grateful for the ways we’ve been able to stay close. We got our kids together at my house this weekend and it was a wild and joyful time! Things like this are SO worth the effort, planning, and tiredness! No one cares about a small house, everyone is just glad to be together.

I’ve shared this a million times and it stays true—I’m so thankful for all the parents that prayed for and encouraged my high school friendships. It challenges me to pray those same prayers for Lily and invest in her friendships, because I know what an impact these ladies and so many others have had on my life 💕

Today I turned 39. What a gift it is to get older.

Today I turned 39. What a gift it is to get older. To have the chance to grow in relationships, wrinkles, and hopefully wisdom. To get to know the character of God more deeply and to become even more certain of the hope, fullness of joy, and abundant life found in Jesus.

I’m so very grateful for this life and the people in it 💕

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